The fine line of cross-denominational fellowship

May 21, 2009 (John)

Sometimes there’s a lot we can learn from a negative example. There’s a certain Christian group I have been involved with in the past that, though an excellent movement in many respects, have some very distinctive traits, not all of which are wonderful.

One of these is the way some of its members react when you mention where you fellowship and they realise that it’s not within their denomination. A pall suddenly washes over the conversation; a momentary silence followed by either more silence or a politely feeble comment of no substance. At this point they may feel more comfortable to change the subject to non-spiritual things. It’s all so subtle yet I understand it’s meaning so well because when I was deeply embedded in this movement I often made the same immediate assumption they are making. It’s not verbal, but if you put it to words it would go something like, “This person is suspect, probably not a true Christian at all, further discussion will only reveal the uncomfortable fact that we’re really not the same after all”.

In fact this bold assumption is based on almost scandalous pride and close-mindedness. It’s the cult-like idea that we are the group that God is working with. That we have the truth and everyone outside our movement is either unsaved or at the very least in desperate need of our council. It fails to see that as weak human beings our ideas are seldom perfectly the consequence God’s word and the Holy Spirit, but that we are subject to cultural, denominational and personality-based shaping that we’re so familiar with that we’re not even aware of it. I know of a number of Christian groups that can lay claim to a rich and Holy Spirit inspired heritage. On the other hand I haven’t found one that I couldn’t learn some valuable spiritual lesson from. I am not in favour of the kind of ecumenicalism that unthinkingly gathers everything together with no spiritual discernment. That kind of ecumenicalism fails to recognize that the visible kingdom of God’s church is made up of both wheat and tares (Matt 13:24-30). But I am also not in favour of fervent denominationalism, which seems to me to miss the fact that God has, throughout history, raised up one fresh and genuine movement after another. Though we may be the spiritual children of a particular one of these, this should not denigrate the value of what God has done in other places and at other times.

I could sit here and try and write a sermon on do’s and don’ts when trying to establish true¹ spiritual friendships with genuine Christians from very different worlds, but like any set of rules it would do little good. In essence only a few qualities are needed. Love, humility, discernment and patience. The love to want to be closer to those who are Christ’s but not part of our club. The humility to expect some give and take and not come at it believing we are right about everything. The discernment to judge what new thoughts to grasp hold of, and which to let slide past. And ultimately the patience to bear with a process that at times can make you want to pull your hair out. With time and dialogue, those of a genuine Christian spirit can, and generally will, come to understand, learn from and respect one another. We may still be most comfortable with a certain heritage and denominational distinctive. We probably still won’t perfectly agree about everything. But, we will have a relationship and understanding that allows us to enjoy fellowship, sharpen one another and work together in the gospel.

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